A true scot...dont know how many scots are here tonight and Im sorry if you dont understand it !!?

You know you are a true Scot if????.



1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, Sauchiehall St, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.

2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.

3. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.

4. Ye canna pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.

5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.

6. Ye see people wearin shell suits with burberry accessories pure class!

7. Ye measure distance in minutes.

8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him, in yer ain family.

9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.

10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.

11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.

12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.

13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.

14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips, iron-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.

15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.

16. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.

17. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.

18. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals .

19. Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these words;



How's it hingin

Clatty

Boggin

Cludgie

Pished

Get it up ye

Wee beasties

Erse bandit

Amurny

Away an bile yer heid

Peely-wally

Humphey backit

Ba'-heid

Baw bag

Dubble nugget



And finally......



A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a butchershop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his erse aimed at an electric fire. The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?" "Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's ah'm heatin'.

A true scot...dont know how many scots are here tonight and Im sorry if you dont understand it !!?
LMAO....... There is one about Coloradoans too.... but these are ones you have to have knowledge of to find the humor....... I liked it.
Reply:I'm from California, and I had to read that sooo slow and sound out every word of it, but I think I got it. Funny!
Reply:what the f***





i can't understand a word
Reply:Funny! I can't understand much. It is made to sound like...













A Scottish man!