Divorce court joke?

Angelina and Giuseppi were standing before the judge in divorce court.



Angelina says: "Your honor, we benna marry 25 years ana Giuseppi he'always pickna his nose ana when we maka love he's a never letsa me on top. I just canna taka dis anymore."



The judge listens solemnly then addresses Giuseppi. "Giuseppi, isa dis true.You always a picka your nose and you never let Angelina on top? What you gotta say fora yourself?"



Giuseppi says, "Well your honor, itsa true. I picka my nose a lot and, yeah, Angelina, I tella her she'sa gotta be on da bottom. Itsa all go'sa back to when I'ma young boy. My poppa, he'sa very smarta man. I always follow ev'ryting he say. My poppa one day he says, Giuseppi, I gotta tella you da two main secrets ofa hava successful life. Number one, you always keepa your nose clean. Ana number two, never screw up.

Divorce court joke?
This was so funny I had to tell it to others. Thanks for the laugh
Reply:Ha ha!
Reply:then try this



Yeah, my husband and I just split up. I finally faced the fact that we're incompatible. I'm a Virgo and he's an asshole."



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My husband and I divorced over religious differences.

He thought he was God, and I didn't.



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Marriage is a three-ring circus:

Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.



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For Sale

Wedding dress, size 12.

Worn once by mistake.



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There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman:

Before marriage and after marriage.



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"I'm a big opponent of divorce. Why leave the nut you got for one you don't know?"

-- Loretta Lynn



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Why were hurricanes usually named after women?

Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car.



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The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job.

Look Miss," said the foreman, "have you any actual experience in picking lemons?"

"Well, as a matter if fact, yes!" she replied. "I've been divorced three times."



Submitted by Gr8SmokyMt



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90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house.

10% kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.



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First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel"

Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."



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Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."



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The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing (and then they marry him).



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Did You Know?



Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.





Butler logo for ButlerWebs' Did You Know Fun Facts



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Former Education Secretary William Bennett attended a modern wedding where the bride and groom pledged in their wedding vows to remain together "as long as love shall last."

Bennett said, "I sent paper plates as my wedding gift."



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My soon-to-be ex-husband brought his girlfriend to divorce court this week. I guess they figured she might as well know what to expect.



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A Woman's Perfect Breakfast

You're sitting at the breakfast table.....

Your son's picture is on the box of Wheaties.

Your daughter is on the cover of Fortune.

Your boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

Your husband is on the back of the milk carton.



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A ninety-year-old couple decide to get a divorce. They go to the judge and say, "Judge, we want a divorce."

The judge says, "You've been married 70 years and now you want to get a divorce? Why did you wait so long?"

The couple say in unison, "Well, we wanted to wait until the kids were dead."



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Love may be blind, but marriage Is a real eye-opener!



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Get a New Car for Your Spouse.

It'll be a Great Trade!







Thank you Hey you must also tell that to me!!!
Reply:LOL it is so funny! " never screw UP"
Reply:???
Reply:j

ginkgo